Motivation - Are you “Should”ing on yourself?

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Making changes that support your health and wellness goals is difficult, and motivation is one of the main reasons. Many times my clients say things like, “I know what I should be doing” or “Yeah, I need to start ____.”

This type of mindset is where most people start with motivation. They see the value in change, they want change, and a lot of the motivation is coming from an external source. “My doctor told me I need to change my diet.” “My friend is a trainer and told me I should be strength training more.” Other times these statements come from a place of guilt for having a lack of motivation. “I know I should be putting money into an emergency fund, but I would just rather spend my money on other things.”

Shifting this mindset from “should”, “need to”, and “have to”, to “choose to” and “want to” can be very powerful. This does take some time for self-reflection and identifying what’s important to you so that you can understand how some of these things can positively impact your life.

An example may be, “I need to do the dishes.” Dishes are a chore, and certainly no one wants to do them. Take time to think about how doing the dishes impacts the rest of the day. If I do the dishes before bed, I will wake up to a clean kitchen, and have all of the dishes I need to make breakfast and pack lunches. This will help me to stay relaxed in the morning and lower my stress. Now we can say “I am choosing to do the dishes now so that I will feel less stressed and have a more relaxing morning tomorrow.”

Take some times to notice when you tell yourself (or others) that you “should”, “need to”, or “have to” do something, and think about how you can rephrase it to “want to” or “choose to.”

If you’re finding it difficult to shift your mindset or uncover your motivators, consider scheduling a one on one coaching session so I can help you meet your goals.